Let me guess, you don’t have kids? Because:

  1. Kids are humans, not always capable of being 100% under someone else’s control. This is the biggest myth about parenting, that parents can always, ALWAYS “control” a child. Tell that to anyone who’s tried to “control” a baby who’s screaming on an airplane.
  2. Kids RUN AROUND, it’s what they do. What are you even talking about?
  3. “An unteachable child who respects that her word is final” We’re talking about a 3-YEAR-OLD. HA HA HA. Do you know any 3-year-olds? They’re like the jerk teenagers of the toddler world.
  4. I can’t even keep counting down the things because clearly you would prefer that unless parents have some sort of war prisoner-like control of their kids, that they should never leave the house. Okay.
  5. Wait, I can’t stop. Next up: “It spoils the world for everybody else”. Newsflash: the world is also made up of kids. They have a right to be places. In public. In the world.
  6. You assume a level of being-able-to-see-into-the-future that is quite literally impossible for any parent or human person. Are you actually implying that it would’ve been possible for her to think, “Hmmm, you know, this kid is pretty strong-willed. He doesn’t always listen. I bet that little rascal is going to get into an exhibit at the zoo today. You know what? Screw it, we’re going anyway.”
  7. A zoo is NOT a “hazardous grown up place” It’s a friggin zoo. Where bajillions of kids go. All the time. Just. What?

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AMATEUR HOUR (2018) and BUT YOU SEEMED SO HAPPY (2021) | The New York Times, The New Yorker, McSweeney’s, The Cut | kimberlyharrington.me

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